To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: Safety Tips To whomever took specimens D32A-5 through D33B-1 without filling out the proper “Preserved Failed Experimental Specimen Vial Checkout Form” please return them ASAP. Dr. Kippers has discovered that prolonged exposure to some of these specimens may cause irreversible death and possible flesh wounds such as limb implosion. [...]
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: Thar be cupcakes! To whomever parked the minisub in the moon-pool last, please try again. The entry hatch needs to be pointed up. In the air. Not, I repeat, NOT submerged. You have until lunchtime to remedy the situation, otherwise I will be forced to implement some experimental disciplinary [...]
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: This Week’s Events and Announcements First off, I would like to congratulate everyone in their fine performance during last week’s unspeakable-horror-is-attacking-the-ship drill. Everyone responded to the drill in record time. Bravo! If that had been a real unspeakable horror, I am proud to say most of us would have [...]
Just the other day I was thinking, “You know what would be handy? A knife wielding robot!” Luckily, my prayers to the awesome-things-that-are-probably-not-a-good-idea-in-retrospect gods have been answered. Behold! Such a contraption has been developed! Not sure why they spent the effort to build fail-safes into it though, it takes all the fun away, IMHO. Speaking [...]
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