To: All
From: Captain Tortuga
Re: Samples
Anyone who went to the bioengineering seminar this weekend and picked up some of the free samples from the various vendor booths might want to take note that we have heard reports that some of said samples have unpredictable and unexpected reactions when exposed to sea water. For those that don’t want to take the risk of their free samples being exposed, I suggest taking advantage of one of the many incinerator receptacles scattered throughout the ship. Also note, I do not want to see anyone tossing their samples into the moon pool “…just to see what would happen. FOR SCIENCE!” Any individuals doing so will be subjected to experimental disciplinary measures.
For those of you that received a sample of deinonychus embryos from the Dinosaur of the Month Club, I would like to remind you that these embryos are for display only. They are not designed for human consumption nor for reactivation of gestation. Need I remind you about the incidents with the liopleurodon eggs sent out back in April? Sure, they were cute when they were little, but no one was very pleased when a dozen of them escaped into open water and used the ship’s propellers as chew toys. Plus, the liopleurodon stew that the cook made from the leftovers was just horrid.
On a slightly related note, the cook wanted me to inform everyone that there will be samples of various new recipes for the crew to try out. Please vote on your favorite. Also, anyone having a known allergy to actiniaria may want to avoid this month’s new recipe samples.
Sincerely,
- Captain Tortuga
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