Radio Isopod

Dear All,
Many of you have no doubt noticed the various reports about an underwater “UFO” detected by researchers off of the Scandinavian coast; a 60ft circular object at around 100 meters. Also, many of you have no doubt heard rumors that we were scheduled to install a giant anti-grav turbo super fun-time trampoline in the rec room.

I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that the underwater “UFO” is neither unidentified nor flying although it is an object. So those of you worried about an intergalactic incident being started because some drunken extraterristial took Uncle Blipblop’s sports spaceship out for a joy ride and carelessly crashed it into our ocean, can rest easy. The bad news is that it’s actually the giant anti-grav turbo super fun-time trampoline that we had ordered (as a surprise, I might add) from the Underground Questionable Science Emporium. From what I hear, apparently even they get boarded sometimes (something about the Swedish coast guard and tactile pickled herrings), and they were forced to eject their entire shipment.

Sorry.

In other news, there will be extra cake for dessert tonight. So, there is that.

Sincerely,

- Captain Tortuga