Well, I have to say I am honored with such a wonderful rendering of my likeness. However, I’m not sure I approve of the choice of creature that co-inhabits this lovely piece of fan art. Indeed. That IS just not right. I mean, Dr. Gestalt, if you are going to go to all the trouble [...]
Greetings Gentle Readers, First, I would like to put the rumor to rest that the S.S. Isopod had been sucked into a mysterious vortex of no return. Obviously, the no return part was not true as I am here today relaying this message to you. But, I hear you proclaim, what if this message was [...]
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: Irradiated Meat It has come to my attention that some of you have been purposefully creating radioactive meat. From what my sources tell me, the government of Germany has been compensating hunters for radioactive boar meat due to an upsurge of the creatures due to left over Chernobyl radiation. [...]
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: Moon Party, Tonight @ 8PM PST Happy Apollo 15 Day everyone! Good news, Dr. Nubbins’ final tests on her directed wormhole extractor transport have been a huge success. She’s planning on opening up a gate to the Palus Putredinus location on the moon in celebration of this fine day. [...]
I stumbled upon what must be some of the best postcards ever received by man or beast (my cat rarely sends postcards, so I’m making assumptions here). A dozen more can be found here. They are by Franco Brambilla and this is a link to his site: Francobramilla.com
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: Samples Anyone who went to the bioengineering seminar this weekend and picked up some of the free samples from the various vendor booths might want to take note that we have heard reports that some of said samples have unpredictable and unexpected reactions when exposed to sea water. For [...]
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: Safety Tips To whomever took specimens D32A-5 through D33B-1 without filling out the proper “Preserved Failed Experimental Specimen Vial Checkout Form” please return them ASAP. Dr. Kippers has discovered that prolonged exposure to some of these specimens may cause irreversible death and possible flesh wounds such as limb implosion. [...]
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: Thar be cupcakes! To whomever parked the minisub in the moon-pool last, please try again. The entry hatch needs to be pointed up. In the air. Not, I repeat, NOT submerged. You have until lunchtime to remedy the situation, otherwise I will be forced to implement some experimental disciplinary [...]
To: All From: Captain Tortuga Re: This Week’s Events and Announcements First off, I would like to congratulate everyone in their fine performance during last week’s unspeakable-horror-is-attacking-the-ship drill. Everyone responded to the drill in record time. Bravo! If that had been a real unspeakable horror, I am proud to say most of us would have [...]
Just the other day I was thinking, “You know what would be handy? A knife wielding robot!” Luckily, my prayers to the awesome-things-that-are-probably-not-a-good-idea-in-retrospect gods have been answered. Behold! Such a contraption has been developed! Not sure why they spent the effort to build fail-safes into it though, it takes all the fun away, IMHO. Speaking [...]
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