Chickens! Don’t look at me like that. You knew it was inevitable that eventually there would be a chicken. There’s some rule about that, I think.

Truth be told, I’m not very good at consoling any entity. Unless there happens to be an entity that prefers the sort of awkward clueless consoling that I seem to excel at. I could, hypothetically, console that entity quite well. The rest of you, well, I’m afraid you might have a more fulfilling experience from a stuffed bear than from me. I’m telling you this to save both of us the embarrassment of inadequate consoling. Actually, I keep a spare stuffed bear on hand just in case of such emergency. Well, bionic stuffed bear. I assure you it’s mostly harmless and has been programmed with over five thousand forms of comforting.

You know what’s also bad? The appalling lack of content lately. We are sorry about that.  We have just ordered a new set of seaminions to remedy the situation. These ones have been guaranteed not to spontaneously combust (unlike the last set). Thanks and please standby for hopefully less ridiculously late content.

P.S. You also also know what’s bad? Mint tacos with mustard. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

So, I went to the Stumptown Comics Festival in Portland, Oregon today. I have to say, there was an astonishing lack of mustaches. Get with the program, Portland. For shame. On the other hand there was an overabundance of pirates and the Mayor was dressed as the superhero SAMDROID, so I suppose I can overlook the mustache issue this time.

I’m not going to even get into the physics of having a nice cup of tea underwater. It would just blow your mind. And a blown mind is just not a good thing. Very messy. Really, I’m doing you a service, I am. You should thank me. I just saved you from a major head injury.

Cucumber sandwiches? At this depth? That can’t taste good.

Apparently Pi didn’t read rule number Φ of Mad Mumphry’s Guide to Undersea Exploration, 3rd Edition, “Never knock on a mysterious orb.” Oh well. I wonder if it’s friendly?

Hmm… I wonder if this means a water filled adventure is in store for Pi? Robots are so handy to have around sometimes.

Those must be some pretty interesting calculations.

That can’t be good…