Radio Isopod

To: All

From: Captain Tortuga

Re: Thar be cupcakes!

To whomever parked the minisub in the moon-pool last, please try again. The entry hatch needs to be pointed up. In the air. Not, I repeat, NOT submerged. You have until lunchtime to remedy the situation, otherwise I will be forced to implement some experimental disciplinary measures.

On a lighter note, the cook has informed me that he is making his special subharmonic cupcakes for dessert tonight. They’re sure to disappear quickly, so show up early to dinner. Mmmm… cupcakes. I can almost taste their delicious sugary resonant vibratory goodness.

Doc Gestalt would like to thank all folks who attended her ultra super extra fun time tea party last week. She wanted to let all those who participated know that the splicing wounds should heal up within the week with minimal scarring and side effects. She also wanted to extend a special thanks to those who donated misc. mammalian parts to the party. She said it was a huge success. The next ultra super extra fun time tea party is tentatively scheduled the third Saturday of next month.

Also, a small reminder. Please, do NOT feed the sea gnomes. I know they’re cute with those big eyes and pointy hats and the way they click their claws is adorable. They are still parasitic vermin with epic breeding capabilities and should not be encouraged. Our fumigation bots are already working at full capacity. Need I remind you what happens when levels aboard this ship overflow with sea gnomes? Hmm? Surely, you all remember. Level 5 will never smell quite right again. So, please, put your food and experiment scraps in the proper trash or recycling receptacle. Also, any crew members caught keeping sea gnomes as pets will be subjected to experimental disciplinary measures.

Sincerely,

- Captain Tortuga

To: All

From: Captain Tortuga

Re: This Week’s Events and Announcements

First off, I would like to congratulate everyone in their fine performance during last week’s unspeakable-horror-is-attacking-the-ship drill. Everyone responded to the drill in record time. Bravo! If that had been a real unspeakable horror, I am proud to say most of us would have survived.

As all of you may have heard, this week is the Most Notable Scientists of the 20th Century Burlesque Show. I hear there’s going to be an Albert Einstein hootchy kootchy dance that you will not want to miss. There’s also something special planned for Marie Curie fans. Remember, it’s this Friday night in docking bay 2. Also, we are still a bit short on volunteers, so if you don’t have any experiments to run or research that needs to be done and would like to participate, please contact Dr. Nubbins as soon as possible.

This Wednesday is movie night in the mess hall. Pi was the randomly selected to choose this week’s movie. Pi has informed me that it has chosen Diode Transistor: Robot Detective and the Case of the Missing Amperage. So, get ready for some classic robo-noir. Also, I’ve been told there will be cookies.

Doc Gestalt is looking for some willing individuals and/or extra mammalian parts for her ultra super extra fun time tea party. Details to be revealed at the party. Also, there will be cookies.

Finally, this year’s Junior Mad Science Camp is fast approaching. Activity plans and counselor applications need to be submitted no later than the last full moon of the month.

Sincerely,

- Captain Tortuga

Photo by modomatic

Just the other day I was thinking, “You know what would be handy? A knife wielding robot!” Luckily, my prayers to the awesome-things-that-are-probably-not-a-good-idea-in-retrospect gods have been answered. Behold! Such a contraption has been developed! Not sure why they spent the effort to build fail-safes into it though, it takes all the fun away, IMHO.

Speaking of robots, this cute little bugger is smart enough to navigate its way through some pretty tricky terrain for a robot.

You know what’s also tricky? Having critters derive energy from sunlight. Good thing those hard working scientists are on top of their game. I, for one, am looking forward to the day when all that’s needed to satisfy my munchies is a nice sun bath. Huzzah for synthetic biology!

And because we aboard the S.S. Isopod have a special place in our heart for our tentacled brethren… researchers recently discovered what they believe is an ancient ancestor of your friendly neighborhood octopi and squid. This two tentacled cephalopod has one of the earliest biological jet propulsion systems in the fossil record.

This is by far the most fabulous thing we have seen all week. Bask in its tentacled fondant goodness. Bask, I tell you. BASK!

Mmmm… octocake…

Special thanks to The Secret Lair for bringing this wonderful cephalopod creation to our attention.

Did you know there are Giant Worms in the USA? Well we are lucky and blessed to have found some just this week, on March 27 – they had been presumed extinct! Now I wonder what fish you could catch with a giant worm?

If fishing isn’t your thing, you can still watch the Live Octopus Cam at the Smithsonian.

Octopus and worms both move in strange and organic ways – and this sculptor, Theo Jansen, has designed amazing kinetic beach beasts that move in strange and organic ways too. (If only they had weapons…) 

Speaking of things that move in strange and organic ways, scientists have just discovered that cells in the body move around the body using some of the same complex patterns that amoebas and bacteria use when searching for food. (This may give some clues on how cancer moves around the body.)  

But if you want to see something really weird, this legless amphibian,  Boulengerula taitana, has an amazing way to feed its young: it feeds them its own skin! Not to mention, they’re blue. Which is pretty odd.

While I’m at it, here is “yet another creature that looks like a worm but isn’t” – this one is a reptile. It’s the tiniest snake in the world. I think it’s actually pretty cute. Leptotyphlops carlae is “as small as a snake can possibly get by the rules of biology”.

That sounds like a challenge…