Radio Isopod

To: All
From: Captain Tortuga
Re: Irradiated Meat
It has come to my attention that some of you have been purposefully creating radioactive meat. From what my sources tell me, the government of Germany has been compensating hunters for radioactive boar meat due to an upsurge of the creatures due to left over Chernobyl radiation. Now, while I [...]

To: All
From: Captain Tortuga
Re: Safety Tips
To whomever took specimens D32A-5 through D33B-1 without filling out the proper “Preserved Failed Experimental Specimen Vial Checkout Form” please return them ASAP. Dr. Kippers has discovered that prolonged exposure to some of these specimens may cause irreversible death and possible flesh wounds such as limb implosion.
A reminder, Cuddles the [...]

To: All
From: Captain Tortuga
Re: Thar be cupcakes!
To whomever parked the minisub in the moon-pool last, please try again. The entry hatch needs to be pointed up. In the air. Not, I repeat, NOT submerged. You have until lunchtime to remedy the situation, otherwise I will be forced to implement some experimental disciplinary measures.
On a lighter [...]

To: All
From: Captain Tortuga
Re: This Week’s Events and Announcements
First off, I would like to congratulate everyone in their fine performance during last week’s unspeakable-horror-is-attacking-the-ship drill. Everyone responded to the drill in record time. Bravo! If that had been a real unspeakable horror, I am proud to say most of us would have survived.
As all of [...]

Attention S.S. Isopod Crew,
Indeed, I am completely aware of our unplanned extended study of the Chukchi Sea and the Aurora Borealis due to the S.S. Isopod freezing to the ice sheet for the last two months. You will be pleased to know that we have found the problem and managed to free the ship. [...]

What’s this? Why, it is a marvelous piece of art by Radio Isopod listener and contributor, Rachel Ross. Isn’t it glorious? Fantastically nifty keen, even. Thanks Rachel!!
What’s that? You say that you didn’t realize that the S.S. Isopod even had a mini-sub? Oh pleeeease. What type of self-respecting submersible laboratory would we be if we [...]